Moments of Clarity
by Maymer
Summary: A cool breeze brushed over him. The sun was pleasantly warming. In the distance, birds sang. Not exactly what he was expecting.


A cool breeze brushed over him. The sun was pleasantly warming. In the distance, birds sang.  
Not exactly what he was expecting.

There's a soft giggle above him, "Aren't you planning to get up at some point?"

Without opening his eyes, he replied, "No," a small smile on his face. It was too comfy lying on the grassy hill to move, and too nice to have nothing to do for once.

She laughed again and sat down beside him. Maybe the hem of her dress brushed against his hand. He would bet she was leaning forward and hugging her knees, her chin resting on them as she stared thoughtfully into the distance.

There was a peaceful, friendly silence between them, as they enjoyed the day. They should have felt shock at meeting each other here, or perhaps they should be scared and upset. This wasn't a place where you wanted to meet people dear to you. But the hill was too tranquil for that. Hours went past, but the sky didn't change, the midday sun still above and the wind still whispered as unseen trees rustled.

"You never told me about Zack," she said eventually, her voice kept carefully neutral, but there was still a sense of reproach and sadness and disappointment.

"It was confidential," he turned his head away slightly, not quite able to hide his guilt completely.

There was slight disapproving "hmm" in response. She doesn't believe him any more than he did. She is quiet for a while as she thinks, "You kept the letters I sent him."

"I didn't read them."

"It was a long time to be kept waiting."

"It was better than the truth," for that, he was unapologetic. He had always known that he stood no chance with her, but maybe he could protect her all the same. Perhaps he should have done more, but what could he have done, or told her? 'I believe your boyfriend has been eliminated by Shinra, I'm sorry for your loss' didn't quite seem to cut it.

She didn't reply, and maybe the sun grew a little colder. He wanted to open his eyes then, and look at her, to see if he'd actually made her frown.

But opening his eyes would break the rules. Here, in her world, she was not to be seen.

"Is he here?"

"Close" her voice gave no indication whether this is good, or bad. Perhaps it is both.

"…He shouldn't be here." He was a good man. He didn't deserve what happened to him. Very few did, in fact. He would always regret what had happened to his almost-but-not-quite friend.

"Far too many people that are here shouldn't be," she sounded so old, so tired. It's been a long time since he's heard her let her cheerfulness slip. There's something about this that is disturbing, and it troubles him. He tried to distract her.

"Is all of the Lifestream like this?"

"Sometimes" she was looking at the swirling green sky, he could tell. Past lives drifted past, pretty as glitter.

His small "huh" was nearly inaudible. He hadn't expected a straight answer anyway. "Don't they ever get bored? Or lonely?"

"Sometimes the new ones. Mostly they sleep and just be. They keep a basic awareness and exist as the spirit of the world. They make islands in the flow when they want to be who they were."

"Like we're doing?"

"A little like this."

He let himself relax a little more. Though this place was strangely peaceful – as it was, on the edge of the glowing current – it was nice to know that when she released him, into that beyond, it was not the end. He was also well aware that he was getting an incredibly basic explanation, but it didn't matter.

Soon he would have to go into it. Oh well. One hand moved backwards and forwards over the short grass, just concentrating on the feeling of it on his skin. The repetitive motion was hypnotic, the slight hissing sound soothing. It was nice to be carefree. He liked the feeling of having all the time in the world. A nice prospect, one that he could easily get used to. He was surprised at how relieved he was. The Lifestream hadn't rejected him, as he thought it might. It had forgiven him.

Maybe he heard a familiar voice calling her name.

He felt her get up, and brush her dress smooth. Maybe a blade of grass landed on his cheek. He gave a sigh and began to follow, eyes still unwilling to open.

She laughed, "And where do you think you're going?" she teased as he braced his arms to lift himself up.

"With you," he answered, confused. Where else was he supposed to go?

He knew she was smiling, "Not today. You're needed somewhere else right now."

"…You're sending me back?"

She probably nodded.

Maybe he felt someone flick his forehead in a habitual gesture, and maybe he heard another voice join hers as she said, "Good luck!"

* * *

The warm light became a harsher white, and his still body seemed to move at great speed. The birds began to beep, and the grass became less springy, more uncomfortable.

"He's awake! Sir! Sir, can you hear me?" it was a new voice, full of concern and relief.

He kept his eyes closed, savouring for a moment the peace and that little white haven on the hill.

He sighed, feeling Elena fretting next to him. He couldn't pretend any longer it seemed, not without the entire ward's staff descending upon him. He sat up, ignoring the startled woman beside him, muscles aching as he moved. His head felt like it was on fire, but it was manageable.

_Not today_, she had said.

_Well then_, he thought, as he unplugged the heart monitor and IV drip and stood, Elena flustering around besides him. Thankfully, someone on his staff had defended his dignity, as he wore the tattered remains of his shirt and pants and not an embarrassing hospital gown. His suit jacket and tie had been folded on top his shoes on the chair next to his bed.

By the time the doctors had arrived, he was halfway to the exit, all but his tie in place.

_Until that day, there's work to do_.


End file.
